Struggling

I would never have thought my biggest health struggle would turn out to not be the big C or the resulting hysterectomy and colo-rectal resection… surely my body could not betray me in a worse or more debilitating way?

I was wrong.  As traumatic as the cancer process was, I find myself in a game of tug-of-war with migraines.

For anyone who gets migraines, they would know it is truly something you “suffer” from and is extremely difficult to explain to anyone lucky enough to not get migraines.

My symptoms are nausea, light sensitivity, neck tension and the headache portion of predominantly on the left sides, but sometimes both.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been getting headaches & migraines. Headaches often. Migraines every couple of months. It sucked, but was manageable.

Over the last two years the frequency and intensity ramped up exponentially for some inexplicable reason. It’s reached the point where it is now a constant. It would last for days, be alleviated for a couple of hours and then come back.

I am frustrated and questioning everything I knew about my brain and body. I thought I had an idea of what my triggers are…

Anxiety and stress – when I get to the point where my anxiety or stress ticks over into a panic, a migraine followed soon after like clock work.

Hormones – when my ovaries checked out and we learnt I can’t take hormones due to the type of cancer, it got much much worse. So it seemed obvious.

But if these are the triggers, why can we not get it under control? What are we missing? After various doctors’ visits, we’ve not yet been found an effective way to manage it. Higher doses of anxiety meds. Changes in sleeping aids. Beta blockers. Vitamins. Physio. Not sure if I am just impatient… but nothing has helped yet.

Those around me have their own their own theories. Some of it reasonable enough, while others feel more like they are projecting their own health struggles onto me… Irrespective we are open to everyone’s suggest, hubby and I are exploring all the various options.

We are in the process of making appointments with various medical professionals. Starting with a diagnostic physician, hoping to rule out the potentially scarier causes such as tumors, cancer, etc..

Up next is appointment with psychologist. Hubby is convinced the migraines are a manifestation of anxiety from all the medical trauma and stress in general. This makes sense.

Also on the list is to get eyes tested. Dental check to deal with the rogue wisdom tooth that has reared it’s ugly head. Daith piercing.  Changing sleep and exercise routines. Improve eating habits. I’m willing to do anything short of actually removing my head from my body.

Surprisingly, my biggest fear is not it is cancer. I am more afraid we can’t find the source at all. I don’t know how I will manage this being what’s normal for me…