My name is Melissa, wife to a wonderful husband, Gareth, and mother to a fur-baby, Abby. My husband and I became best friends in high school, but only got together a couple of years afterwards. We have been annoying each other in the best possible way since getting married in 2016.
Our house has been fiercely ruled by our pekingese baby since we got her in 2017. She drives us nuts sometimes, but we wouldn’t change or trade her for anything in the world.
Our life story was complicated in December 2020 when we found out that I have a rare form of cancer called adenosarcoma. It has been one of the biggest and toughest situations we had to face and we are still learning how to navigate life in the aftermath of this news and it’s consequences.
We had been prepared for it to be a bumpy ride, but no number of online articles or doctors consultations could have prepared us for the weeks to come. Unfortunately, due to the size, placement and type of the cancerous growth, I had to undergo a total abdominal hysterectomy soon after the day we found out. This would be followed by a course of radiotherapy, once I was strong enough.
Our heads were still reeling from the news when my husband dropped me off at the hospital and the sister wheeled me into theater. I was supposed to only be in hospital for a couple of days – life had other plans.
The hysterectomy in itself wasn’t without complications as I had to have a partial resection of my colon – that was supposed to be it though, when I was in ICU I was supposed to be on the mend and on the road to being released.
But my body wasn’t healing as it should have. My colon leaked through the resection incision into my body, I was rushed back to the theater to have a temporary loop ileostomy done. We had hoped that that would be enough to kick my body into high gear that I could go home.
My body said nope to that after the beating it took. The hole was refusing to heal completely. I needed to visit the theater every couple of days that the doctors could monitor what was happening inside and also place endo-sponges in that area to help with the healing.
My time in hospital was brutal – not because of anything or anyone at the hospital. The staff were all amazing and I know the care I needed was right there. They helped managed the pain as well as the recovery as best they could and I did whatever I could do assist. But I know my healing was probably delayed because of the turmoil in my heart and head. With the pandemic going on, I had no visitors other than the medical personnel – my husband and I had to deal and navigate one of our most trying times apart.
When the leak area was finally healed enough (after 40 days), I was sent home – I cried when they told me. It was an amazing feeling to leave, I hadn’t seen the outside world in weeks – I cried when I got home.
The next leg of the journey was just as hard as the hospital despite my much loved surroundings and the friendly face I woke up to each morning. The internal pain was still horrid and tablets did not work nearly as fast as injections or drips in hospital. Thankfully, I have one amazing husband to hold me and help me when everything got too much.
A couple of weeks after being discharged, I went for a follow-up sigmoidoscopy, the leak was almost healed and it was time to start radiotherapy. In my mind I was prepared for this to be the “easy”, because that’s what everyone made it sound like. But it wasn’t – the reality of what the lost of my uterus meant to us as a family was starting to sink in and the waiting after my initial consultation with the oncologist had my nerves and heart in ribbons.
Just like in the hospital the staff at the cancer unit were all incredible and we were thankful when we finally embarked on my six-week course of radiotherapy. The side-effects were a lot worse than expected. I don’t know why we were surprised by that, the part of my body getting radiated was the same part that endured a beating internally.
After undergoing 6 weeks of radiotherapy and resting for a good couple of months, I went under the knife again to have the ileostomy reversal. The recovery for the reversal was another challenge I was not mentally prepared for. We don’t realise how quickly our bodies can unlearn things it had been doing for years – getting back to and staying “regular” is an ongoing fight.
I am currently in remission and the ileostomy reversal has healed completely, but it does not mean that the journey is over. There were always be another check-up and another precautionary scan… this is where we find ourselves now…
Shattered Warrior 