One night this week, when my insomnia was intense, I took a break from my usual window shopping (digitally that is). I looked through the folders on my phone to clear out any unnecessary photos or videos, like duplicates, old ones, or anything that is no longer needed.
The first folder I looked through happened to be my camera’s photo, and very early on, I stumbled upon a video I don’t recall recording – it was a video showing my husband and our dog walking towards me.
It took me a second to place the location where the video was, until it hit me – it was taken literally just before I fell and broke my ankle.
It was so surreal watching it, knowing what happened next. I wish I could reach in and warm myself to stop and look where I’m going, but my Android phone unfortunately doesn’t come with a time-turning ability.
What stuck with me, even now, after seeing it several weeks after the event, is how tangibly different the passage of time can feel in life. The video, although only seconds long, is infinitely longer than the actual fall. The breakage is instantaneous, but the consequences are prolonged and will continue for many months.
Since finding the video, I’ve become hyper-aware of time and what I want to do with my time on Earth. The hyper-awareness, which is on par with my emotions generally, is coupled with the lyrics of a song. In this case, the associated lyrics are from a song (Another Day: 1999) in the musical Rent, which was one of the movies that made me fall in love with musicals:
“The heart may freeze, or it can burn
The pain will ease if I can learn
There is no future, there is no past
I live this moment as my last
There’s only us, there’s only this
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss
No other road, no other way
No day but today”
It feels like a lifetime ago that I first saw the movie. I can still vividly remember the moment I heard these lyrics, exactly where I was, and how it made me feel – as if it only happened 5 minutes ago.
I’m not sure why it took a broken ankle to remind me to make the most of each day, week, month, season, and year. It won’t always be possible, I know. I’m human. But it is something to strive for.
Shattered Warrior 